March 3

The beginning of March has always been tainted for me. My cousin Danny was murdered by someone 16 years ago today. Then there is remembering my friends sweet baby girl she lost on the 7th and my best friend who died on the evening of March 7th.
I wrote the man who killed my cousin on FB today here is my letter....
Michelle Grabinski Froman March 3 at 3:46pm
Hi Matt, I am writing to u because for some time I have felt the urge to. I don't know if u even remember who I am. I am Danny's cousin. The date had me thinking and there are other times u have crossed my mind. I am not writing to harass u at all. I have come to a place in my life where I am learning to forgive. I don't know if u care but I just want u to know that I forgive u for taking Danny's life. It has taken me a long time to say this. Danny was there as I was growing up, he was my playmate as a kid we were close. I took it very hard when he passed
I do not really understand the circumstances of that night or if u were really ever in fear for your life. I think of it often still. I remember hearing the sirens that night laying in the bed only to realize the next morning when my mom woke me for school that the sirens had been for him. It pained me to know that I was at home in my comfy safe house and he was a few streets over dying.
I only hope in the last moments of his life he reached out for God and asked for his forgiveness and he made it to heaven. His mom and his dad have both died recently and now his sister is all alone. That bothers me a lot. I always thought Danny would die from his cystic fibrosis not a knife wound.
I have also been working on my forgiveness for Seamus. For some reason in my mind I have blamed him a lot over the years. He used to come in the place I worked and I wanted to slap him. Slap him for ever having that stupid get together at his house. There are tons of what ifs that I have replayed over the years.
I am a mother now and I cannot imagine what my aunt went through after Danny died. She changed forever the night it happened she was not ever herself until her death.
I always wonder if u ever felt bad about it. For a long time I doubted the things u said in court about that night but now I know it is possible u were scared and did it out of self defense. Only u and God know.
U in that moment changed a bunch of lives forever. I don't know if u will ever realize the depth of how much it has effected everyone.
Michelle


At first He didn't respond to me directly but he changed his FB status after I sent him the letter, he said
A weird anniversary for me, but 16 years later and I am glad to say at least I made something of myself, paid for my missteps and progressed from there and I am grateful to have the chances that I was able to take advantage of. I am truly remorseful and this day will live with me forever......

Later on this evening he wrote me back his words were...Thank You for your willingness to forgive me, I have lived with this fact that I took someones life and I am remorseful and have felt bad since day one and still do. Thank you for your kindness if you have anything else do not hesitate I am open.

I wonder if he is really remorseful? For him to say it at least meant a lot to me. An I'm sorry would be nice but I don't think I will get that. It's ok though I am at rest now just getting to say what I wanted to say to him. I am still saddened that he is walking around free as bird as he never did any jail time to my knowledge. He was charged with voluntary manslaughter and his sentence was suspended and he was put on probation. If he broke his probation and served time I don't know. Anyway I am glad I wrote him.